MISTAKES CAN KILL YOU

It was a mistake...I had allowed my wife to talk me into this...I told myself.  Here I sat on the end of the runway about to take off knowing I had the airplane overloaded...too heavy for safe flight.

I had agreed to take the young people in my Sunday School class flying this Saturday afternoon.  Most of the class was not very excited about it.  Only two showed up but we had a good flight and they seemed to enjoy it very much.  When we landed we found that one more class member had come for a plane ride.  An exceptionally heavy teen age boy, probably tipping the scale at over two hundred pounds.  Now all three wanted to ride and I reluctantly agreed to take them up.  This was a big mistake and could have gotten all of us killed.  I almost always flew alone and never had to worry about weight and balance problems.  The Mooney I was flying this afternoon is rated for four souls on board (that's OK if two of them are children, less than full fuel tanks and no baggage)  
I taxied to the take-off end of the runway thinking all the time that I should not try this.  That airport had a very short runway and has since been closed for that very reason.  I just wasn't made for multi-engine or heavy aircraft and there was no room to add to it's length.  Nevertheless there I sat and I had committed myself.  Sometimes it's worth the embarrassment to back away from a commitment rather than risk an accident.  This was one of those times.
I set the brakes and ran up the engine.  Everything looked good to go.  I wound the engine up to top speed with the brakes set.  Releasing the brakes we started down the runway accelerating at a good speed.  It normally takes about one third of the runway to reach take off speed.  At my normal take off point I pulled back of the control column.  The plane did not take off but the stall warning sounded.  I lowered the nose and let it accelerate to the midpoint of the runway and tried to lift off again.  Again the stall warning sounded.  Now I was traveling down the runway nearing seventy five miles an hour and the end of the runway was coming at me at alarming speed.  I could not have stopped without running off the end of the runway, through the fence, into the ditch and out onto the road.  I had to do something...and do it fast.  I reached down and pulled the flaps on full.  The airplane jumped into the air and I crossed the road clearing the wires and the buildings on the South side of the road.   (I learned later that this is the best short field take off procedure for this airplane)  I raised the wheels and let the airplane accelerate until I was sure it would fly without the flaps.  I then slowly retracted the flaps, one notch at a time as I gained speed.  It was then that the guilt and anger at myself set in.
We flew around long enough for me to get my nerves settled down and back to normal,  made a steep approach with full flaps and landed safely.
Mistakes can kill you...as well as those who trust in you.  None of the excuses you can come up with nor all of them put together can remove your guilt.  This was a great lesson for me and I never again flew without giving proper  thought to weight and balance.  
I wish I could say that I applied this lessen to the rest of my life but I can't.   I can say, however, that the same lesson applied in different ways to different problems has made me much more cautious in my approach to each situation I face.  I guess that's why I am still alive.